Maybe the Reason I Can't Social Media
I think it’s a form of envy of all the things other people are doing. I don’t resent anyone for it, but I expect my interests to be a superset of everyone else’s interests, and it’s not realistic.
Like I should be on Slack and Twitter and Instagram, and blog more, and redesign this site, and listen to more podcasts, no, actually host my own podcast, and watch all the shows and movies that are global phenomena, and watch live Twitch streams or at least the VODs on YouTube, and especially pay attention to the Today tab in the App Store and subscribe to TV+ and Arcade and Apple Music. Do all that while maintaining or reviving the pile of hobbies that I’ve accumulated since childhood: music, athletics, video games, books, code, travel, writing. But don’t forget about being a father and husband and son and brother and friend and community member, because people will actually notice when you neglect them.
I often feel a tinge of guilt when I don’t know something that someone else knows — conversely, a sense of relief when I do, like, “Hey, I already know that band! One less thing to learn!” It used to make me defensive, especially among nerd friends, since they’re often excited about the obscure and arcane.
This must be why I have only a handful of RSS and podcast subscriptions, no social media presence to speak of, and an aversion to most sources of “news” (very intentional scare quotes). Everything new must replace something current — there are no spaces left to fill, and I like having some space.
It’s a little bit insular, and maybe I’m thinking of it during isolation because I feel like I’m coping with it better than many, since I was already isolating in a lot of ways. I need to check in occasionally to make sure I’m not becoming ossified, agoraphobic, anything really damaging like that.